First of the First

Great things that have happened in 2016 so far: we got engaged!

Here’s how it went down: I got out of the shower on the first morning of the new year, wrapped a towel around myself and opened the living room doors. Nathan was sitting on the rug, holding both dogs, with a look on his face that was equal parts terror and excitement. The dogs had pink and blue ribbons tied around their necks in little bows; Rupert was the proudest dog that ever lived, Posie looked angry and inconvenienced by the whole thing. I saw a ring hanging from the bow around Posie, immediately figured out what was going on and couldn’t stop smiling. Nathan’s explanation of the setting was that it was just us, our dogs, our home, our little family, and that was what mattered most. I said yes, yes, yes (!) and Posie ran off with the ring, then sulked and refused to look at us. Once we got the ring back, he put it on my finger and we hugged and kissed and laughed about calling each other ‘fiancé/fiancée’. It was utterly lovely.

Apparently he’d had grand plans about doing it the night before, with NYE fireworks. But logistics got in the way — I was tired after work, the dogs would have been upset if they came with us to watch the fireworks, and I would have been worried about them if we’d left them at home. But I’m so glad it all happened the way it did, and what a way to start the new year.

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I know everybody is when they first get engaged, but I’m completely bewitched by my ring. It’s an asscher diamond, my favourite cut; from the top it’s very art deco, but from the front, it has scrolling filigree work and engraving, so it’s very Grand Duchess of Imperial Russia. We designed it together earlier in the year, but I had no idea when he was actually going to give it to me. It’s so hard not to stare at it all the time, and the little halo of sparkles it shoots everywhere is so distracting. I don’t normally wear a lot of jewelry and I almost never wear rings, so it is bizarre feeling this little weight attached to my finger – I’m known to be more than a little clumsy, so I’m always paranoid about knocking it on something. I will have to get used to it, I suppose!

In the days since, both of us keep turning to the other and asking over and over, “Do you really want to marry me? Are you sure?”. I get cold feet about practically everything, but I am sure. Sure, he will handball his dog feeding responsibilities to me, wear socks with holes in them, and try to seduce me with a Jar Jar Binks impersonation and I will think, oh my god – this is really going to be my forever. But I am glad. Good and bad, he’s the one I want to share it all with.

Next stop: wedding planning. Oh god. We are both non-committal and avoidant, hate people staring at us, and hate having to make emotional declarations in front of people. We both come from gigantic extended families. This is going to be interesting.

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