Lately

Finally, eighteen days into the new year, it feels like things are back to normal – back into a routine. Everything has been a bit of a whirlwind so far, so I’m really enjoying some breathing room. Especially since things are about to get crazy again as I start my honours year (!). I don’t know what to expect, but however it is, I’ll probably overthink the hell out of it. I am predicting this will be a year of intellectual crises, self-doubt and crazy perfectionism, with tremendous relief at the end when I actually hand the thesis in. It will be hard, but millions of people have successfully done it before me – surely, I can do it too!

Anyway, lately – we went to a wedding. A cousin of Nathan’s mother married her partner in the Yarra Valley and it was lovely. I barely got a single photo, but I managed one of us before we left. So coordinated! And the worst part is, we did it on purpose. I cringed watching 19 Kids and Counting when Josh (ugh) and Anna would wear matching outfits throughout their entire engagement. While I don’t try to match exactly, I do like things to ‘go’ together… hence the pink theme. It was a little bit of an eye-opener to actually attend our first wedding as a newly engaged couple (I feel like a bit of a commodity) – every single thing that happened elicited comments like “we’ll all be at your wedding ceremony soon” or “you should have (whatever) at your wedding”. A little confronting. I still don’t feel comfortable with this new label, especially all the scrutiny and pressure that comes with it – something I’m already having to navigate eighteen days in, unfortunately. It’s an adjustment, and it will definitely take some time to rewire my brain into feeling like this is actually happening, and it’s actually happening to me. We have been together for eight and a half years and in some ways, it feels like we’re already married, but in other ways, I am completely out of my depth as a bride to be. It hasn’t even been three weeks, but the pressure has been unsettling. We don’t know what we want, we don’t know how we are going to do things, but we will figure it out.

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Then, this weekend we went to Hobart for a few days, mainly for the MONA festival. Hobart is always lovely, despite the incredible frustration of not being able to find anywhere to eat dinner at 9pm on a Friday or Saturday night. The festival was good, but it didn’t have the same feel as the last time we went – probably because it was all onsite at MONA this time. It felt more like a music festival, like we were sort of held captive in one location, as compared to how fun it was discovering different venues all over the city last time. Everything we saw was great though, except one piece that involved a bowl containing two goldfish swimming around a very sharp knife – not a fan.

Again, barely any photos, other than what we ate. Oh my god, we ate! We are all about seafood, and Tasmania has amazing seafood. On our last night, we ordered this gigantic two-part platter with oysters, prawns, octopus, calamari, salmon, blue eye, scallops, salad and chips. I tried to get it all in the same photo, and failed, but at least you can see how pleased Nathan was about the whole thing!

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I think it was the highlight of his trip. Now, back to reality.

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