May – Taking Stock

I don’t have a lot of exciting things to share right now. Life is a bit of a slog at this time of year, these first few months have been plagued by some unlucky health. And there’s a lot of running around and chores involved in planning a wedding, even a small one. So our weekends aren’t exactly brimming with adventure either. For now, there’s this (inspired by Pip Lincolne‘s lists).

Making : lots of lists, about all sorts of things – pre-surgery house cleaning plans, shopping lists, wedding to-do lists, timelines, lots of things
Cooking : this spicy rice dish that is sort of a cross between nasi goreng and paella – it’s really good, I’ll write up the recipe some time
Drinking : a lot of milk lately, which Nathan is pleased about (he’s always strangely concerned about me getting enough calcium)
Reading : not a great deal at the moment, unfortunately, but I have The Girl on the Train lined up for my recovery period next week
Trawling : through criticism and analysis about The Handmaid’s Tale
Wanting : to skip the next few weeks
Looking : around this utter trash-pile of a house and trying to figure out where to start
Deciding : what to wear for the wedding
Wishing : that I didn’t have TN and it wasn’t even a consideration for this whole wisdom teeth thing
Enjoying : Mother’s Day chocolates (thanks P+R)
Waiting : fitfully, nervously, miserably, anxiously… this awful anticipation is not fun at all
Liking : the fact that I made beef and spinach curry for Mother’s Day for Nathan’s family, and his grandmother (who never eats red meat) not only ate it and enjoyed it, but had seconds – such a win
Wondering : whether Tim and Eric are exploiting some of the people on their show, and feeling a bit weird about it
Loving : the way the light filters through the batik quilt that I am using as a makeshift curtain in the bedroom at the moment, until I get new proper curtains
Pondering : all the things I have to get organized and ready for surgery
Listening : to Carmen
Considering : whether my new Fitbit needs a firmware update or whether it’s just faulty 🙁
Buying : mermaid makeup brushes, because of course
Watching : The Handmaid’s TaleTim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
Hoping : that everything goes well next week; that I don’t vomit after general anaesthetic; that I don’t end up with nerve damage; that I don’t end up with holes in my sinuses; that I don’t end up just bursting into tears like a wimp
Marvelling : at what a total blessing it is to have a heater that actually works on these cold days
Cringing : at how much sugar I have consumed lately, and how it equals instant bad skin
Needing : to do a lot of work on the garden this week
Questioning : how many beds these dogs can possibly own (we’re at eight right now, but it’s more common for them to just lay on the floor instead)
Wearing : the warmest, coziest merino cardigan
Noticing : how you get a much clearer sense of people when you see the way they act when they think nobody is watching
Knowing : that the most likely scenario is that everything will be okay
Thinking : about Bali in September, and hoping we’ll get to see a mola mola
Admiring : Nathan’s handsome face (he shaved his beard off recently on a whim, like he always does) + Joanna Lumley for just being her brilliant self
Getting : new socks, new nighties, new pajama pants, seeing as I’ll be spending a little while on the couch
Bookmarking : fancy restaurants to go to for our birthday (a big one for me!)
Disliking : this new phase of Rupert’s age-related decline – he might have to go on anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds, big sigh
Opening : important emails + boxes of nurofen
Closing : my eyes every night but barely sleeping
Feeling : scared, sad, lonely, freaked out, agitated, anxious, raw, jittery and in need of constant distraction
Hearing : again, finally – the jaw infection made my ears so blocked up
Celebrating : Mother’s Day + Jennifer and Dad’s birthdays
Pretending : that all things are within my control
Embracing : being the queen of getting cheap airfares (between now and March, it’ll be Brisbane, Bali, Singapore, Sydney and the Gold Coast  – yay but bring on the valium)

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