Little Bits – Almost Winter

We went to see Belle and Sebastian on Friday night, and it was everything I’ve been dreaming of since the last time I saw them – when I was sixteen! I think they definitely qualify as my favourite band. There is nobody else that I have such a hard time deciding which is my favourite song because there are so many wonderful ones to choose from. The best part of the whole concert was the setlist – it was everything I could have hoped for, except Lazy Line Painter Jane. But I got that one last time, and I did get Jonathan David.

On the weekend, we had dinner with my family and I decided to make vanilla custard cannoli. Not quite from scratch – I made the custard to pipe into pre-made shells. I should have taken a photo because they looked quite enticing dusted with powdered sugar and surrounded by strawberries. Dad was impressed and declared that I will be making them again.

My embroidery progress stalled this week (I’ll write more about why later, when I’m feeling a bit more ready), so nothing to report there. Every creative thing I do always seems to come along in fits and starts. Hopefully I’ll have another burst of energy this week… in a few areas, could be nice. It’s almost time to start knitting again too. I have a gigantic blanket that I began years ago as a gift for somebody who I later realized doesn’t exactly appreciate handmade things, so it’s probably best to just keep it for myself. It’s huge and only about four or five balls of yarn away from being finished… the nicest thing about working on it is that I can drape it over myself and be all cozy while I work on it, so definitely a winter activity.

I saw my dream house for sale tonight – the auction is tomorrow. The most frustrating part is knowing that we could technically afford it, but there is a big difference between what you can afford in dollar terms and what you can afford as a responsible adult with a million other obligations and no crystal ball to see what the future holds. I know there will be other dream houses, and I know that this house could be pretty lovely once we fix it up, but it’s still sad to know that this particular one is just a daydream.

You know how sometimes in publishing, there will be a little rush of similarly themed books being released in a particular time period… most probably by chance? Well… that has happened, and it seems that the novel that I have been working on will most likely be very same-old-same-old  (or worse – “that’s so 2017”) once it’s finished and ready to submit. I don’t know what to do. I don’t really have any other big ideas ready for jumping into right now. Actually I have a million ideas, but letting them steep and marinate before plotting takes time, and I just wish the whole process would happen a bit faster.

I have been neglecting this blog, a lot. I think part of the issue is that I’m not taking any photos, and I’m not taking photos because my surroundings are so ugly right now. I don’t want to be in photos because I am ugly too right now. And then it feels like… I suppose I’ve been sort of guarding myself from feeling any big feelings or thinking any big thoughts over the last few months, because it feels like there is no physical space for them right now. It’s hard to explain. I know what the cure is, but it’s going to be a long road full of persistence and hard work, which is never immediately fun. I won’t let this blog die, but I don’t think it’s going to be particularly bright or shiny this year. Unfortunately.

 

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